Ali and Chad Tumblin celebrated the fourth birthday of their oldest son, Ty, last Wednesday.
It’s not overstating the situation to say they’re lucky he’s still alive.
Here’s how Mrs. Tumblin puts it: “To most people food can be a source of healing, but for our family, it can kill.”
Ty was born allergic to milk, nuts, egg, wheat, soy, corn and oats. This is not your everyday allergy. It’s the sort where his throat swells and if he doesn’t get a shot and to the hospital within minutes his throat will close completely.
And it’s not only if he eats foods he’s allergic to. A reaction also can happen if he touches something or someone with food residue.
Imagine.
That means most restaurants are off limits. Parks. Birthday parties. Other people’s homes. Other people’s children. Other people.
Halloween is a complication. Thanksgiving.
Doctors estimate about 8 percent of children have some sort of food allergy and most outgrow them by the time they’re five.
By the time Ty was 2, he had outgrown his intolerance of wheat, soy, corn and oats. It was a time of rejoicing. Christmas 2009 brought cheers from the kitchen as Mrs. Tumblin baked for her family.
“I’m so thankful for the smell of sugar cookies in the air and yesterday we made Chex mix with his Earth Balance butter,” she said then. “Of course Ty doesn’t eat any of this but his mommy sure does.
That’s right. The whole family is on what they call the Ty diet. It makes a difficult life easier. They don’t have to worry about washing their hands and face every time they eat or touch food. They don’t have to worry about residue on the kitchen table.
For Ty, milk, nuts and egg remain deadly.
Three times, despite all the lengths they have gone through to make the world safe for their son, the Tumblins have had to whip out an EpiPen and inject Ty with epinephrine, a dose that lasts only long enough to get to the hospital by ambulance.
“Sometimes I get so mad that Ty has to go through this that I just want to lay on my back kicking and screaming and pitch the biggest fit anyone has ever seen,” she said. “I just don’t know how to let out all the fear and frustration I have. It’s not the fact that we can’t go out to eat, or go to birthday parties, eat pizza, enjoy family functions; it’s the fact that these foods could kill Ty.”
Ty, a sweet guy who as a toddler could sing songs on the radio like an adult, takes it all in stride.
“He had to come home from school one day because a little girl sat on his head and it was right after lunch so there was residue on her pants and he broke out all over,” Mrs. Tumblin said. “I cried like a baby for two hours and he said ‘don’t worry mom, I got to play in the director’s office.’”
There are always complications, unseen hazards.
Just the other day she called a bakery to order vegan cupcakes for his birthday. No one answered the phone so she went on the website to see what was available. She found out the vegan cupcakes included almonds.
“I would have ordered them and not known,” she said.
Recently, another challenge rose up. Younger son Tanner is too thin. His pediatrician recommended adding to his diet cheese, mayonnaise and eggs.
“Scares me to death,” she said. “Now, I have to face losing my only safe place for Ty, our home.”
That means after each meal Tanner needs a bath, his teeth brushed, all surfaces sanitized. No kissing, no hugging between the boys.
“How do I not rob Peter to pay Paul?” she wonders.
But here’s what a loving mother says – on Valentine’s Day, by the way – to her sons:
“I love my kids more than anything in this world and whatever I have to do I know is worth it if it makes both of them happy and healthy.”
