Archive for November, 2010

Lyn Riddle

On setting priorities, living in perspective

by Lyn Riddle

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Nov
15
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Ryan Fernandes and Caroline Sieger, who are getting married in December, asked guests to donate to Triune Mercy Center, where they developed a computer room.

To be honest, it was mostly junk.

Computers with parts missing or computers at least eight years old, which is like an athlete wearing a leather helmet in the Super Bowl.

The room held a few tables and some metal chairs and it was dark and dusty.

That’s what Ryan Fernandes and Caroline Sieger saw when they walked into a third floor room at Triune Mercy Center for the first time in the fall of 2009. They were Clemson grad students then, he in the business school, she in math. They had been dating about a year.

The Clemson MBA program matched Fernandes with Triune, the Rutherford Road ministry that offers services for the homeless.

“Clemson has a unique philanthropy view,” he said.

Fernandes met with Deb Richardson Moore, the pastor, and Pat Parker, the center’s associate director and employment specialist, and together they decided to take that dismal room and make it into a computer lab.

“There are cell phones faster than the computers in there,” Fernandes said. “We had to make the best of what we had.”

Their challenge was similar to a chef who is given disparate ingredients to cook something edible.

They took the oldest computers and reconfigured them for browsing the web only. They worked well enough for Triune clients to look for jobs.

They parlayed Clemson contacts into newer computers – or as Fernandes puts it “all in one machines” that could be used for typing lessons and classes in learning software such as Word or Excel.

But it didn’t end there. Fernandes and Sieger bought lighting from Ikea. His parents, Jackie and Agnelo Fernandes, who live in Greenville, donated a rug. And purple computer chairs came from the Clemson MBA program.

Fernandes and Sieger attended the first class taught there, which was in March. The clients described being able to have ready access to computers and the opportunity to take classes as life changing.

“Not knowing how to turn on a computer or have an e-mail address, I never realized how important it is,” Fernandes said. “The room serves as a safe place for them to learn without having to go to the library and be asked to leave because they fell asleep.”

Moore said so far 45 people have had one-on-one training.

“The key is that a lot of our folks have failed in other computer programs or other job-seeking programs where they’re shown to a computer and left on their own,” she said.

She said Triune offers a lot of emergency relief such as hot meals, groceries, clothes, blankets, coats and laundry services. But the computer room offers something lasting. It helps people get out of the situation they’re in.

For Fernandes, it was an opportunity to give back to the community he grew up in. He attended St. Joseph’s Catholic School, where is played soccer, and then majored in biochemistry at Clemson before getting his master’s in business. Sieger grew up in Charleston and has a bachelor’s and master’s in math.

They’re living in Boston now. She’s working for the Massachusetts Institute of Technology’s Lincoln Lab developing collision avoidance algorithms for the Air Force and the FAA, and he’s doing an internship Vertex Pharmaceuticals.

Fernandes said working together on the computer lab deepened their relationship. In April, he took her to the top of the Clemson House and asked her to marry him. Their wedding is planned for Dec. 29 at Divine Redeemer Catholic Church in Hanahan, outside of Charleston.

Their wedding registry is a short one.

They’ve asked all their guests to donate what they would have spent on a wedding present to Triune Mercy Center.

“Yeah, we need things for the household, but how much do you really need when you put things in context? Fernandes said.

Lyn Riddle

On the fifth season

by Lyn Riddle

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Nov
7

Miyonna Baker was 8 when her mother died.

She wondered who would raise her.

Her grandmother Renee Brewster reassured her. Nana would.andfinallygvl

But in the months that followed, Miyonna had trouble sleeping and wouldn’t go into the room she shared with her mother at her grandmother’s house.

She cried a lot and wanted to go where her mother went.

Her grandmother told her no, it wasn’t her time.

Brewster, who has custody of Mioynna, knew her granddaughter needed to find others who had lost a loved one. She found what she was looking for at the YMCA of Greenville’s Healing Challenge Weekend at Y Camp Greenville at Cedar Mountain, N.C.

During the weekend, families hike, climb mountains, write in journals and take part in group discussions with counselors from Radford University. Once families return home, they have support from Fifth Season, Center for Loss, Grief and Transition, a non-profit on Mills Avenue in Greenville.

It is a place where grief meets itself, mixes around with the loss of others and spreads out across the majesty of western North Carolina.

“This is to our knowledge a unique camping experience for this particular family need,” said Dusty Deming. director of marketing and public relations at the YMCA of Greenville.

The Y started the program seven years ago with special emphasis on children who had lost a loved one, but soon it became apparent the whole family needed support, Deming said.

Miyonna’s mother died in childbirth in 2001. The baby had been dead in the womb for a few days. Labor was induced and the next thing Brewster knew a Code Blue had been called and she was hurried out of the room. Before long, her 32-year-old daughter was dead.

“It was shocking,” Brewster said. Like many people, she thought dying in childbirth had been left behind on the prairie. And that created its own problem because the death was so unexpected, almost like a murder or car accident.

“Going that way is a hard thing to swallow,” Brewster said. “I thank God I was saved when my daughter died. I’m surviving by the grace of God. Thank God I didn’t crack up cause somebody had to raise Miyonna.”
Miyonna went to Camp Greenville for the first time the year after her mother died. It was comforting to find others who knew exactly how she was feeling. She was no longer the girl who was different.

“I fell in love with it,” she said.

She considers the counselors friends.

“What I like most is when we go out and talk about everything that’s happened,” she said. “We talk about the sadness and how we deal with it.”

And she met Brittany and Brooke, who have gone through similar experiences.

“At first I thought I was the only one who lost a person but I know there are others. It made me feel so good,” Miyonna said.

She talks to Brittany, who lives in Greenwood, on the phone regularly and they both go to Britanny’s grandmother’s house every now and then to spend the night. She hears from Brooke less frequently, but their bond holds true.

Now 11 and an honor roll student, Miyonna will be back at Camp Greenville next weekend. So will Brittany and Brooke.

“It’s improved her life,” said Brewster.