‘For a little while to come, Trey is the social story’

By Cindy Landrum  

SEPTEMBER 8, 2011 11:51 a.m. (0)

Social media leader Trey Pennington said people have a three-fold “human hunger” to be heard, to be understood and to know their lives matter.

Marketers needed to understand those desires to capitalize on the meteoric growth of social media, he said during seminars he held around the world.

But the 46-year-old struggled with those fundamental needs in his own life, friends say.

“I think in life and in death Trey was struggling with knowing how much his life mattered,” said Jay Handler, who co-hosted an online radio show with him.

Pennington died Sunday after shooting himself in the stomach under an oak tree outside Second Presbyterian Church in downtown Greenville.

Police responded to the church after receiving a report shortly after 11 a.m. of a man with a gun. Police pleaded with Pennington to put down the gun, but he turned the weapon on himself and fired a single shot. Some church members witnessed the shooting.

Police said Pennington was not supposed to be at the church because of a prior incident. They declined to say what the prior incident involved.

Friends say they’re struggling with why they couldn’t help a man they say went out of his way to help others.

“Trey was a good person. We all have issues. We all make mistakes,” said his friend, James Akers. “One event shouldn’t define him.”

Friends say Pennington and his wife Jean were divorcing although no record of a divorce filing could be found in Greenville County court records.

Pennington had attempted suicide in June, his friends said, but they were able to intervene.

“This guy seemed like he was so together. He was always helping people, but on the inside he was torn apart,” said Rachel Kraft Duchac, who is organizing a team to walk in Pennington’s honor at the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention “Out of the Darkness” walk in Spartanburg on Oct. 9.

Duchac said Pennington felt abandoned by the church and that “he wanted to in the worst way be with his family.”

Friends say they thought Pennington was getting better.

“Trey resurfaced and quickly became his jovial persona again, with perhaps a touch more melancholy and introspection than usual,” wrote Kris Colvin, chief creative officer of Fresh ID in a blog.

Pennington has had financial problems.

He had filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy and his house was in foreclosure, according to court records.

“We knew there were struggles but he seemed to be dealing with it,” Akers said. “He did a really good job covering it up and that scares the hell out of me. How many other friends do I have in the same position?”

Dr. Ken Rogers, psychiatry department chairman at the Greenville Hospital System, said 12 percent of the population will have some degree of major depressive disorder during a given year.

One in five people suffer from depression at some time in their lives.

Three to 4 percent of people suffering depression commit suicide, Rogers said. In the midst of depression, it gets harder for people to see the positive things going on in their lives and they believe it won’t get better, Rogers said. That leads them to decide it would be better if they were not here.

“Imagine the darkest day in your life, multiply it by 10 and then imagine sitting in that situation day in and day out for a month,” Rogers said.

HubSpot ranked Pennington’s Facebook page as the fourth most influential in the world in 2009. His Twitter profile ranked in the top 0.1 percent.

He started or helped to start 10 Social Media Clubs, including one in Greenville.

As world spread quickly about his death via those same social media channels he talked about so often, comments about how kind and generous Pennington abounded.

“Trey always had a smile and an encouraging word,” wrote John Warner on his SwampFox blog.

Friends gathered at the Liberty Bridge Wednesday night for a candlelight memorial. They will collect money to put a new bench in Falls Park in his honor. They are also starting a scholarship fund for Pennington’s children. He had six, ages 8 to 20.

“Today, and for a little while to come, Trey is the social story,” wrote Colvin. “People – some who only knew him online, some who knew him in person, some who never even heard of him until today – are reaching out to hold each other’s hands and share their thoughts about Trey and the tragedy that is impacting so many of us. That would make Trey smile, I know.”