With grace and poise

By Cindy Landrum  

MARCH 28, 2011 11:02 a.m. (0)

And never more so than for Carolina Ballet Theatre prima ballerina Anita Pacylowski-Justo.

The Carolina Ballet’s April 9 production of “Giselle,” a romantic masterwork of the ballet world, was to be Pacylowski-Justo’s swan song, her farewell to the stage, a fitting end to a dancing career that has spanned more than two decades.

“Giselle” is also the favorite romantic ballet of her husband and Carolina Ballet’s artistic director, Hernan Justo.

It was a role in which he could close his eyes and picture her gracefully pulling off some of ballet’s most physically demanding moves while establishing an emotional connection with her audience, a role he insisted she just had to do before she retired.

“He knew the character of Giselle and knowing me, not just as a dancer but as his wife, he knew it was a role I had to do,” Pacylowski-Justo said. “It was something he wanted to share with me, his gift to me. I fell in love with ‘Giselle’ and I fell in love with the character.”

That is the love part of the story.

The loss came during a rehearsal last month.

Pacylowski-Justo was practicing Giselle’s famous Act 1 solo in which the ballerina has to hop en pointe 36 times without her heel touching the ground.

Ten steps into a gentle run that would lead into the hops, her Achilles tendon suddenly ruptured.

The other dancers watching the rehearsal heard a thump and Pacylowski-Justo felt a sudden burning sensation in her calf.

As she fell to the floor, she looked at one of the dancer’s face. It was pale, almost as if she had seen a ghost, Pacylowski-Justo said.

But there was no pain.

“It was the weirdest psychological roller coaster,” she said. “It was so tragic personally, but there was no pain.”

Ironically, the injury occurred during a pantomime when Giselle, who had a weak heart, was pleading with her mother to let her dance.

“That’s so symbolic,” Pacylowski-Justo said.

On the way to see an orthopedic doctor, Pacylowski-Justo cried, hoping the injury would only keep her out of rehearsals for a week, maybe two.

When the doctor diagnosed Pacylowski-Justo with one of the most devastating injuries a dancer, especially one two months shy of 40 years old, could suffer, she and her husband hugged. Tears fell uncontrollably for that special moment on stage they had now lost.

“The sadness is that the audience in the town I now call home won’t be able to see what we saw in rehearsal,” she said.

Pacylowski-Justo said the month and a half she rehearsed for the role was incredibly emotional and rewarding.

“You have to value the process,” she said. “I was taking the process of creation and enjoying it as much as the show. The show is the gift. That month and a half I spent working for it is worth so much.”

That she wasn’t told she wouldn’t dance again is a comfort to Pacylowski-Justo, who will continue to teach and work in the newly developed SHAPEX (Super Healthy Active People Eating right extreme), a Carolina Ballet-designed curriculum for children that focuses on fitness and kinesthetic learning.

“Our goal now is for me to be able to wear high heels and able to park the car and quickly go get the children,” Pacylowski-Justo said. Pacylowski-Justo had surgery to reattach the tendon and is expected to regain most of the strength in her ankle and leg in about six months.

It is knowing she’ll dance again and her experiences in rehearsing for the role that is allowing Pacylowski-Justo to hand over the role to Madeline Jazz Guerdat, a dancer in her first season with the Carolina Ballet.

“I’ll not have the big moment on the stage, but I now know what the role is like. I felt those moments in rehearsal and now can give it to the next generation,” said Pacylowski-Justo, who began dancing when she was 6.

Ironically, Pacylowski-Justo was Guerdat’s mentor.

Guerdat, 22, attended the North Carolina Dance Theatre School when Pacylowski-Justo was a professional dancer there.

Guerdat named her teddy bear after Pacylowski-Justo because she liked the way she danced.

Guerdat calls her starring role bittersweet.

“I was so in awe of her beauty and her artistry. She’s such a captivating ballerina to watch,” she said. “I would have never imagined I would be stepping into such big shoes of somebody who I so treasured.”

Guerdat said she was terrified after she was told she’d replace Pacylowski-Justo. “I asked myself, ‘Can I really do this?’” she said.

She did not know a single dance step of the role and had six weeks to get ready. She learned all of the steps in two days.

“First, there was terror. Then, there was doubt. Now, it’s anticipation and excitement,” she said.

Justo said he doesn’t want Guerdat to perform like Pacylowski-Justo.

Pacylowski-Justo said she purposely stayed away from rehearsals for a couple of weeks to give Guerdat time to go through the creative process, just as she had done weeks before.

When she finally saw Guerdat rehearsing, “It brought tears to my eyes,” she said.

Justo said the company is stronger now than it was before his wife’s injury.

“I knew they were ready, but I didn’t realize how ready they were.”

In the meantime, Justo continues to prepare Guerdat for the role meant for his wife.

“Anita has a uniqueness and that will never be replicated,” Justo said. “A dancer like Anita happens once in a generation.”

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