Caring, here

By Charles Sowell  

JULY 7, 2011 11:55 a.m. (0)

Families never get over the sudden death of a loved one; the harshness of losing a father, mother, or child in a traffic accident is especially traumatic.

An unnecessarily big part of that trauma used to come with a knock at the door and a wooden recitation of the bare facts by a spit and shine trooper or deputy.

That’s different now, said Faith Turner, coordinator for Families of Highway Fatalities, which is run through the state Department of Public Safety.

“One of the things we learned by having survivors take a hands-on role in the program is that how a person gets the news about the death of a loved one is hugely important,” she said.

“And as a result the Highway Patrol instituted a training program that humanizes that process. Today our officers know to treat a survivor just like they’d want their own family member to be treated when getting that kind of news.”

That program is shared around the state today with other law enforcement agencies and any other organization that might be tasked with delivering grim news to an unsuspecting family.

The program is a first in the nation group operating out of Public Safety headquarters, Turner said. It was created in 2003 with a Web site designed to give grieving families an outlet to post their feelings. It got a formal name 2005 and in 2007 received a federal grant for a safety outreach effort.

“Not everybody that we serve takes part in the outreach program,” Turner said. “But for some being able to do something to help change the circumstances that cost their family so much is a big help in the healing process. Our services are limited to what the family members say they want.”

The Highway Patrol, and members of the support group scattered around the state, keep track of fatal accidents and forward the pertinent information about survivors to Turner. “We contact the family from there,” she said.

There is professional counseling offered several times a year through seminars and other venues, she said. In cases where money is an issue families are referred to state mental health counselors.

And the group touches on other subjects.

“Things like when the main breadwinner is killed we have contacts with local food banks to make sure there is food on the table,” Turner said. “Or when it is a single person who is killed we can find out if they had a pet at home and make sure that pet gets fed and cared for.

“You’d be amazed at how much being able to take a son or daughter’s pet back home means to families at times like this.